There have been several things I have been thinking about over the past weeks. A few of those items have been difficult to admit but as I have acknowledged these things to myself and others, I have found a sense of renewal and almost freedom.
In my circle of friends, we comment that speaking something makes it true. Holding thoughts, ideas and emotions in often creates more problems and can often hinder forward progress. I wrapped myself in the the words from my friend Emily from Authentically Emmie when she responded that I was making space for new things to occur in my life.
I feel it is easiest to state I have come to terms over the past months (and probably longer) I have developed the very habit of existing and not living. I am building a career of attempting to help others do more than the daily routine. Yet, I discovered I was beginning to do just that. Although James and I intentionally try to be mindful of our lives, this was a reminder of the power of habit. Work, dinner, more work and workout (and sometimes not) and repeat had become my norm.
I’ve been aware that life has needed to change but change requires effort. I’ve briefly mentioned that this winter was a time of struggling with autoimmune issues and although I can use this as excuse of my ruts and habits, I do not want to.
Admitting that things need to change in your life is difficult. Making changes means there has been wrong decisions or moves. The need to make changes also is a result of how we individually change in our lives. Staying who we are, doing what we have always done is often comfortable but can also become paralyzing.
I am beginning to make changes in my career. As I write these words that will go to a larger audience, I am aware of the tightness in my chest. Leaving behind the comfort of what I know brings anxiety. I am good at what I do but my soul has been telling me I need more. The discomfort I have felt in not acknowledging this has been enormous. I have doubts. I fear failure. I’ve been battling negative self talk I would never say to another. However, I desire a life of no regrets. Staying with what I know will not bring me the growth I am craving. My soul is pushing me to step outside my comfort zone. It is time to honor that.
My hope is to always utilize my own life as a blueprint of helping others. This reminder is helping me to realize I need to return this space to what I want it to be. My posting has been sporadic and many of the posts have been fluff. Although the ideas have been present, I believe that my lack of quality writing was another form of avoiding what I needed to face. I can not write about how to live your life if I am not living my own to the fullest.
Today I am acknowledging I am making career changes. I am beginning to take baby steps.
Are there areas in your life that you have been avoiding? Are you working at a job you can not stand? Is your marriage struggling? Do you keep putting off losing weight or seeing your physician? Are you fearful of making that phone call to a relative you haven’t seen? If you are able, let me know in the comments below what you are needing to change in your life. Let’s begin to take the journey to get where you want to be.
I promise to be cheering for you and I hope you will do the same for me!