In the next few weeks there will be a new design on a new platform, posts will fall into categories and series will appear on a regular basis.
As I have begun to prepare for the transfer, I have been reviewing and labeling past posts. Over the past few weeks, I have realized that many of my posts have not been what I originally wanted or planned. Although I continue to focus upon the pieces of life that I feel are important to me (healthy recipes, travel, quality time with those who are important), there have been many things I have not said.
I’ve been editing my thoughts as I decided what to write down and share.
What I haven’t said is that I am still grieving as I move into this second fall without my Mom.
Most grievers, and anyone, going through a difficult time find themselves editing what they say to others. My years of working as a grief counselor has given me a foundation to draw upon in this knowledge. For years, clients would discuss how our short sessions were often the only place they could be open and honest without feeling judged.
The reality is, whether you are grieving or struggling with other issues, even if your emotions are valid, not everyone will agree.
Today I want to share with you that the second year of grief is often more difficult than the first year. The self protection of shock has been removed,. However; fewer individuals are openly supportive and many do not acknowledge that your grief may be stronger. As a result, there is often constant editing to make it appear that everything is “normal”.
Relationships have been changed over the past few years due to others being uncomfortable in knowing what to say or how to treat me. Their lack of acknowledgement has altered friendships and often made me feel that they didn’t care. Often, the damage can never be repaired. I can no longer be who I used to be as I have been changed.
Although I daily practice gratitude and the blessings that I continue to receive, it is important for me to acknowledge there are moments of wishing I had something different. I do not dwell at this place but I allow myself to have the thoughts. It is normal to have the thoughts such as ” What might have been…”